***This blog post can also be found on medium.com.***
I haven’t experienced a lot of ailments, but Hyperemesis Gravidarum, or HG for short, will stand out in my life journey as the worst illness I’ve ever had. Although I am many years removed from this experience, it has forever changed me. In case you are unfamiliar with HG; the condition is characterized by excessive vomiting during pregnancy that results in weight loss, malnutrition, dehydration, and fatigue. If you’ve experienced HG or know someone who has, you know that the ailment is hard on the body, tanks mental health, deteriorates relationships, and reduces the quality of life.
As a result of my experience, I have learned that many people with HG and those who care for them are not well informed about the ailment. The following tips below are based on my nine-month battle with HG.
Pro Tip #1:Before everything falls apart, turn to the God who creates, comforts, and heals. Pray for yourself as well as your friend or loved one dealing with HG.
Of all of the effects of HG, the biggest one was the unhelpful advice, judgment, and condescending tones. My experience included a lot of unproductive conversations where I would try to explain how I felt physically and emotionally.
Pro Tip #2:When you don’t know what to say, ask how you can help. The fatigue associated with HG makes it difficult to complete daily tasks. Finishing a load of laundry, washing the dishes, or providing a shoulder to cry on may be the type of support they need.
When a loved one is sick, it is natural to want to cheer them up. People who have had morning sickness may have a false idea of what HG is like. A lot of advice about what to do during a normal pregnancy won’t work for an HG pregnancy. So, well-meaning advice, hacks, or stories about personal pregnancy experiences that have nothing to do with HG may come across as condescending and useless.
From personal experience, comments made to me while I was suffering from HG changed the nature of those relationships for years. Some of those relationships have yet to fully recover.
Pro Tip #3: Be careful not to commit the common error of downplaying the significance of the experience of a loved one. Keep in mind that your loved one is facing a unique challenge.
As a caregiver, keep in mind that your words are just as important as your actions. As a result of HG, relationships can suffer. It is common in the support role to find yourself wanting to help but lacking effective solutions. For HG, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Many treatments are available to help mitigate the effects of the illness, but there is a chance that HG will not go away until the baby is born. This can make you feel helpless and overwhelmed.
It is useful to have assistance during this challenging time. Inquire with your doctor’s office and insurance company about hiring an at-home nurse. Create a support system that includes practical assistance such as meal delivery services, professional cleaning services, and family/friends for when you need to go for a walk, drive, or drink. With a new baby on the way, this may not seem cost-effective. However, by introducing one workable method at a time, costs can be kept low, providing relief to all parties involved.
Pro Tip #4: Don’t forget that HG is affecting you as well. Consider your experience and seek a community that can help.
No one wants to be directly or indirectly affected by hyperemesis gravidarum. However, if you find yourself dealing with HG, know that you are not alone. Pause before offering advice or sharing personal experiences. This might not be beneficial to your HG-affected loved one.
Don’t accept the havoc that illnesses might bring to your relationships or your quality of life. Make use of your community so that you won’t have to carry the burden alone. Also, get creative in your approach to completing daily duties. Although these tips are heavily influenced by my personal experience with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), they apply to any condition.
Pro Tip #5: After receiving an HG diagnosis, patients and caregivers will have to reevaluate their main priorities. Anything that doesn’t absolutely have to be done right this second can wait.
Medical articles and real-life experiences can help provide more information about providing support. I’ve included links to YouTube videos, articles, and support groups to help with the side effects of HG.
Bonus Tip: Inquire with the doctors and nurses taking care of your loved one. There is no shame in wanting to better understand something, fix a problem you’ve noticed, or enhance the quality of care your loved ones receive.
We understand how difficult it is to be a caregiver, especially in this situation. Please understand that you are not alone. Use the links below to learn more about HG and find resources to help you along the way.
Until Next Time,
Be Good to Yourself
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